The Not-So-God Complex
by Jesse Wales
Summary: "So, yes, he does have a complex, but it isn't godly. He wonders if it even has a name. Does he suffer from it alone? That stupid word! Oh, how he hates it and hates being it, suffering in the dark, his dark, alone, such a mad man who isn't a hero or a God." Might be a series of brief drabbles. I don't know.
1. The Not-So-God Complex

Chapter 1: The Not-So-God Complex

Some believe he has a case of "The God Complex." But, he doesn't really. He's no God. He doesn't want to be a God.

He's no hero, but he wants them to believe that.

He can't always save the day, but he needs them them to think that he will.

He doesn't want them to wake up one day and realize that he really is just a "Mad Man with a Box."

He doesn't want them to know he needs them, because he can't see it anymore. He's too old. He has seen too much. But they can see. And when they see it, sometimes... he can too.

He needs someone to impress, someone to awe and amaze. He saves the day because they expect him to. He's really just a man with a sonic toy and traveling machine, but to them, he's a cosmic genius.

He wants someone who will stay and travel, despite the dangers and scares. The ones with the unending fascination and curiosity he doesn't have anymore, because if they grow up... when they grow up, they leave, and he's alone again. And it's oh, so lonely when one's alone. Once they leave, he's not the clever hero anymore, just the "Clever Mad Man with the Blue Box that's BIGGER on the Inside... Who's Alone."

And he is mad, and he does have a box, but they don't know that. He doesn't want them to ever think that. He dislikes being alone. He's dangerous that way... with no one by his side to stop him or hold him back. He's vengeful, and he hates it, so he tries to never be unaccompanied. He can't be stopped without his companions. He doesn't want to be alone.

And he doesn't want to be a God, definitely not a lonely God, oh so sad and alone. He wants to be what they want him to be, though he isn't. It's better than being left behind on his own, fighting off himself.

So, yes, he does have a complex, but it isn't godly. He wonders if it even has a name. Does he suffer from it alone? That stupid word! Oh, how he hates it and hates being it, suffering in the dark, his dark, alone, such a mad man who isn't a hero or a God. Just a clever thief, who's mad and stole a box to run away and to run to with no home to go to.

A "Homeless, Dangerous, Clever, Run Away, Run To, Lonely, Old, Mad Thief, Who's Not a Hero or a God with a Sonic Toy and Traveling Blue Police Box that's Bigger on the Inside and Hates Being Alone, Yet Always Manages to be So, Unable to See It and Keep Them, Because They Grow Up and Leave Him Alone... Again... Even Though He Needs Them Because of This Complex of His That He Just Can't Shake."

Nothing more, nothing less.

But they don't know that. He doesn't want them to EVER know that. Because once they do...


	2. The Wary Companion

**A/N:** Some lines are from "The Forest of the Dead," "Flesh and Stone," and "The Rings of Akhenaten". Apparently, my mind wanted to add something else to this one-shot drabble entry.

Chapter 2: The Wary Companion

He's... something. He's a little mad, but he's really something. He can be amazing, but that doesn't really describe him. He's more enigmatic than that.

He calls himself the Doctor. Doctor Who? Just the Doctor. So do we, all of us. It's his name. Actually, it isn't. It's not a title either. More like... a placeholder. We don't know his real name. So, he's the Doctor, just the Doctor. He chose it. A wise man and a healer. It's sort of true, but not fully. He helps; he hurts. He heals as he destroys. He doesn't mean to really. Doctor, a great warrior. The man without a plan. He has a thing. Respect the thing.

They call him the Oncoming Storm, all fire and ice and rage inside. Right now, he's brewing, just waiting for the moment to crash down with a clap of thunder, winds of fury blowing and vengeance pouring down in torrents, sweeping away all who stand in his way. When that day comes, one must hope to be on his good side, the right side.

Though, with all that anger, he still manages to smile. That hides the anger and sadness, the deep rooted sorrow that wraps itself around his dual hearts, threatening to squeeze the life out of them. He's seen things many wouldn't believe. He's lost things we would never understand. He's seen the birth of the universe and watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained, no time, no space, just him. He's walked in universes where the laws of the physics were devised by the mind of a mad man. (Maybe, he is the mad man. He's the mad man with the box; so, maybe he's the mad man who devised the laws of physics. He _is_ a genius, a flying cosmic genius.) He's experienced events and faced enemies that we could never fathom, yet he did it all. He knows knowledge that must never be shared. He remembers things... secrets that must never be spoken. He carries on and carries it all, alone, never sharing, never speaking, never stopping.

And yet... he smiles and laughs and loves. Because everybody knows that everybody dies, but nobody quite knows like him. Yet he keeps fighting, refusing to accept it. If he does... for one moment, I think all the lights would drain out of the sky. All would grow dark if he gave up trying. He's the Doctor, and the universe needs him.

So, after all this, the question is: do I trust him?

I do. I trust him with my life and the lives of all. But I must be wary. Like they say, he's like fire. If you stand too close, you get burned.


End file.
